Josh W. Will Never See His Wii Again

Drunk Alcoholic LuigiJosh W., the senior editor of GeekParty, had an idea. He decided to loan me his Wii, so that I could play Twilight Princess.

That was his first mistake.

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E3 2015: I Wish Ubisoft Had Interesting Games to Show

Ubi-E315-DatedI just got done watching the Ubisoft E3 2015 press conference. I have to say, in many ways I’m really impressed. They worked incredibly hard to ensure there was nothing to complain about in terms of their conference, at least in terms of the standard SJW stuff.

That’s why I wish Ubisoft actually had something of interest to show.

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E3 2015: EA’s Peter Moore Looks Like Mean Gene Okerlund

ea frostbite guySometimes, when you’re forced to watch something you don’t care about, you begin to make odd realizations. Sometimes, it’s that there are twice as many female presenters as there are female protagonists. Sometimes, it’s that there seems to be no clear distinction between a Light Side Jedi and a Jedi leaning towards the Dark Side. It’s not that you’re trying to find bizarre connections, it’s just that your mind is wandering, and you notice things you may never have noticed otherwise.

In my case, it’s that Peter Moore looks a lot like “Mean” Gene Okerlund.

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E3 2015: Mirror’s Edge Catalyst Makes Me Wish I Cared About Mirror’s Edge

mirrors edge catalystMirror’s Edge Catalyst is everything I’ve been wanting AAA games to be.

It has a female protagonist who’s strong in her own right, as opposed to strong at the cost of male characters. It has a story that isn’t all about proving women are awesome, but about taking out a corrupt corporate regime. It’s great.

It’s so great I wish I gave a shit about it.

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E3 2015: Unravel Does the “Yarn Character” Trope Better Than Other Yarn Characters

UnraveledOne of the things EA has shown at this year’s E3 is a game called Unravel, which stars a yarn mascot. At first, my thought was that they were simply trying to cash in on the “cute yarn character” craze. In my defense, all they showed was a cute yarn character, and I’m sort of a cynical asshole.

Then they gave the actual presentation, and I was sold.

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E3 2015: Rare to Gamers: Remember When We Made Good Games?

Rare ReplayRemember back in the 90s, when Rare made really good games? I don’t even mean that in a snarky way. They genuinely made incredibly good games. Even leaving aside the Donkey Kong Country franchise, Rare had some of the best games on the market. Then they got bought out by Microsoft, and they stopped making those.

Now, they’re hoping you remember how great those games were, and that you’re willing to pay for them again instead of simply downloading emulators to play them on your computer.

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E3 2015: With Fallout 4 Mods, Xbox Horns In on PC-Exclusive Abilities

Fallout 4I try not to get into the whole console vs. PC arguments, because they’re a waste of my time. Most of my gaming is done on my PC, but that’s not because I think PCs are better; it’s because I can only afford one $500+ purchase every five years, and I have to get the one that lets me do the most things. Like work.

However, there’s one thing that PCs consistently have over consoles, and that thing is mods. As you may know, I love mods.

Apparently, Microsoft realized that mods are just a thing gamers want, so they’ve decided to let PC-developed mods for Fallout 4 to work on the Xbox One.

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E3 2015: Keith David Ensures at Least One Fuck Given for Halo 5

Halo 5 Master ChiefLet’s be honest here: There is absolutely nothing that Halo 5 can offer at this point that a half dozen other sci-fi first-person shooters can’t also offer. Sure, when the series first came out, it was impressive and groundbreaking, but if we’re being honest with ourselves, it was only impressive because no one expected Microsoft to figure out how to have a game anyone gave a shit about.

Well, they’ve managed to do it again by ensuring Keith David’s voice is in the game.

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E3 2015: I Am Super Jealous of Fallout Fans

Fallout 4I said before that I’m just not very interested in Fallout 4. I’m not saying it’s not a good series. I’ve recently purchased Fallout 3, and it’s entertaining enough. It’s just not something that keeps my attention to any great deal.

What I’m tyring to say is that Fallout 4 looks downright amazing, but I’m still not very interested in it.

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I’m Not That Excited about Fallout 4

fallout 4 screencapLook, I don’t want to tell anyone that they’re wrong for being excited about something. If you’ve enjoyed the Fallout series, more power to you. I hope that the next game in the series will be everything you’ve ever wanted.

As for me, though? I really wish Bethesda was working out The Elder Scrolls VI instead. [Read more…]