I Don’t Want Skyrim Remastered

Skyrim Facebook HackedDue to the hullabaloo about Bethesda having its own press conference before E3 proper, there’s been some speculation as to what they’re going to talk about. One of the major things people are saying might happen is a remastered Skyrim. Let me sum up my opinion on that using one simple phrase from my childhood.

No sir, I don’t like it.

[Read more…]

Life Is Strange Does Nothing To Help My Indecisiveness

life is strange picturesOne of the problems with anxiety is that you often have a hard time making decisions. At least, that’s how my anxiety often comes up. I’ll sit there and ponder endlessly over whether one choice or the other is really the right one, until I no longer have time to think and then I have to make a decision or everything will go wrong forever.

Or something like that. My brain is weird. [Read more…]

Life Is Strange Doesn’t Beat around the Bush, and I Like It

Life Is StrangeLife is Strange is an episodic game developed by Dontnod Entertainment. In it, you play a teenage girl who discovers she can rewind time. From there, you play out days in her life as you decide whether to do one thing or another.

It’s a fun game, and I’m enjoying it. But what I enjoy most about it is the fact that, once the main character finds out she can rewind time, she is all about using it. There’s no period of angst; there’s no freaking out. There’s barely even a question.

life is strangeShe simply travels back to earlier in the day, checks a few things to confirm she is, in fact, back in the past, and then goes with it. I love this, because it shows the main character as brave and competent. There’s no whining. There’s nothing to suggest that she’s actually a victim in all of this.

There’s simply a courageous character stepping up and trying to do what’s right with her newfound abilities. And I find that great.

I’m Still Recovering From Marscon

Marscon happened recently. You know the con. It’s the con that I go to with Paolo von Tassel every year? This year, we had a hell of a weekend. Apparently, Paolo actually became the 15th Doctor for a while, and I got into more fights than I can reasonably explain.

I’ll get into all the details later. For now, just understand that this picture exists.

DSCN5262

My Princess Peach Amiibo Is Higher on the Pecking Order Than You

Alcoholic LuigiRemember how I’ve spoken about  how there’s a pecking order at GeekParty? You remember how many different things were higher than you (and the other GeekParty Staff members) on the pecking order? Now there are two more things that are higher on the pecking order than you.

[Read more…]

I Finished Link’s Awakening on an Actual Game Boy; I Am Clearly a Better Person Than Josh W.

Link's Awakening ChickensRecently, our senior editor Josh W. wrote an article about never having finished The Legend Of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. He cited a lack of batteries as the reason, saying that he simply couldn’t afford to buy as many batteries as it took to beat the game.

I don’t know what kind of cheap ass batteries he was using, but I beat that game three times on the old greybrick Game Boy and only had to replace my batteries once or twice.

[Read more…]

Saints Row IV Has the Best Use of Dinosaurs I’ve Ever Seen

Saint's Row DinosaurThere are many games that include dinosaurs. There are the Dino Hunter and Turok series, in which you fight dinosaurs. There’s the old We’re Back game on the SNES, in which you play as a dinosaur. There are several Jurassic Park games, some of which let you fight dinosaurs and some of which let you play as a dinosaur. But the absolute best use of dinosaurs I’ve seen happens in Saints Row IV.

I mean, just watch this video from the Enter The Dominatrix DLC:

It’s so completely batshit insane that the characters even say it’s completely batshit insane when it’s happening. I won’t spoil all the details for you, because you should really watch this (or, better yet, play it) for yourself.

But it turns out the dinosaurs are intelligent raptors from another planet. And they sing you the song of their people.

It’s total batshit, and it’s great. If anyone tells you that they have found a better use of dinosaurs in a video game, they are wrong.

Thus saith Alcoholic Luigi.

Alcoholic Luigi vs. AniMinneapolis 2014

Rampage Is a Dinosaur Game, End of Story

rampageRecently, my co-worker Tyler wrote an article claiming that the NES classic Rampage is not actually a dinosaur game. He bases this idea on the fact that the dinosaur character, Lizzie, started out as a human that swam in a toxic lake, so therefore she’s not a real dinosaur.

My co-worker is an idiot. Rampage is clearly a dinosaur game.

[Read more…]

I Wish I Liked World of Tanks More Than I Do

World of TanksWorld of Tanks is a free-to-play MMO where you command a tank. The game puts you on a team with a bunch of other random players, and you tank it out against an opposing team.

It’s incredibly detailed and, for the most part, all the tanks are historically accurate and interesting to play. There’s a nifty leveling up system, giving you the ability to detail out your tank’s stats and gunners and such.

[Read more…]

I Don’t Even Like Early Access Games in Theory

Steam Early AccessBecause I don’t own a current gen console, I do most of my gaming on my laptop. Due to this fact, a large majority of the games I play come from Steam, which means I get to see all the games that are on Early Access. And every time, I’m forced to ask the question: Who the hell thought this was a good idea?

[Read more…]