Americans Never Got to Play Transformers on the NES, So We’re Playing It Now

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These days, every time a new Michael Bay blockbuster hits the theater, an accompanying Transformers video game also slithers onto the market. For the most part, these games exemplify the underbelly of triple-A game development. They’re the type of poorly designed, poorly executed titles that the industry could easily live without. But fanboys need their fix, so publishers like Activation churn them out by the boatload.

Back in the NES era, though, being a Transformers super fan meant watching cartoons and playing with action figures. Optimus Prime and Bumblebee never really find a home on any console…kinda.

An NES abomination that used the “Transformers” moniker was released in Japan, but American Transformers fans were spared. And that is a very good thing.

Last week, our friends at Retrovolve played the Famcom edition of Transformers, and it was gross. You should watch the video.

Remember When Sears Was a Respectable Video Game Developer?

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Fine. The word “respectable” might be a stretch. And the word “developer” might also be a stretch. But there was a time when people went to Sears to get their video game fix.

Back before Nintendo and Sega started fist fighting for gaming superiority, Atari ruled the roost. In the late 1970’s 2600s were flying off the shelves, and part of that was due to Atari’s flexible branding philosophy. The company was happy to rebrand its flagship product if the money was good enough. This is how Sears got in to the console business.

Sears’s Tele-Games console was simply a 2600 that had the nameplate ripped off. The two consoles look a little different, but they were manufactured by the same people with the same parts in the same factories. All of the games were cross-compatible, regardless of the branding on the cartridge. Though, Atari developed several Tele-Games-exclusive titles that could only be purchased at Sears.

I wonder what a Sears-exclusive title would look like today.

This week the folks over at Retrovolve spent a little time dissecting the two Atari 2600 designs. You should probably check it out.

Internet Arcade Review: Atomic Boy

Atomic BoyReleased in 1985 by a rogue state known to the world only as as “Irem,” Atomic Boy was widely considered to be the most destructive WMD of that time period.

A once-normal child horrendously infused with atomic radiation, Atomic Boy was designed to scale pipes within power stations so that it could shut down its various generators and jump-dodge their defense robots simutaneously. This was enough to bring about a systematic meltdown of any country’s entire infrastructure, rendering them ripe for invasion and subjugation.

It was a diabolical plan to say the least, one that gained “Irem” a long sought-after seat within the United Nations. Of course, it came at the cost of bringing a number of neighboring countries to the brink of all out war.

At first glance, one might mistake Atomic Boy  for another child/war machine hybrid; the once formidable technologically savvy Nation of Capcom’s Mega Man. However, Atomic Boy would prove to offer much less of a lasting impression, and cause far less economic damage to the Western world. For more on this and many other facts about historical remnants of a world lost to the ages, head over to The Internet Arcade.

Internet Arcade Review: Bull Fight

Bull FightBull Fight was released in 1984 by Sega. I don’t know who came up with the concept for the game, but I like to think it was a man by the name of Tyler Everett. Now, I’ve never met this Tyler Everett, but I choose to believe that he was a family man rooted firmly in the idea of community and rigidly followed the Jesuit teachings of his Pastor: Calvin Alverson.

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Starhawk for PS3 Wasn’t the First Game Called Starhawk to Plagiarize Star Wars

Starhawk's New Planet Is a Lot Like Endor, But Without All Those Stupid EwoksI really enjoyed the PS3-exclusive Starhawk, though I was grumpy enough about the game’s later microtransactions that I sort of gave up on it. This, however, wasn’t until after I was able to point out that its planet Cypress was basically Endor from Return of the Jedi.

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Retrovolve: The Tim and Andy Show Episode 2

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I don’t what you’re planning to do for the next 140 minutes, but you should cancel those plans and watch the Tim and Andy Show. This week’s episode is dedicated to wolves and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Don’t act like you’re not intrigued.

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Internet Arcade Review: Do! Run Run

Do! Run Run“El Candido” was what they used to call me when I was a child warrior. It meant “The Candido,” which meant nothing – a metaphor for my morality at the time. [Read more…]

Internet Arcade Review: Chicken Shift

Chicken ShiftAs a slavish follower of anything and everything Alcoholic Luigi, I decided I should check out the Internet Arcade for myself. For my first game, I chose Chicken Shift, which was released in 1984 by Bally Sente. [Read more…]

Retrovolve Reviews: Journey To Silius

jts_0 Retrovolve takes a look at the NES title that did the most damage to him as a kid, and discusses how it came to be in the first place.

 

Internet Arcade Review: Anteater

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Thanks to the Internet Arcade, we have at our fingertips over 900 arcade games. They are classics, and they are playable in our browsers. Thus, naturally, I should review each and every one of them.

Today’s game is Anteater.

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