I Finished Link’s Awakening on an Actual Game Boy; I Am Clearly a Better Person Than Josh W.

Link's Awakening ChickensRecently, our senior editor Josh W. wrote an article about never having finished The Legend Of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. He cited a lack of batteries as the reason, saying that he simply couldn’t afford to buy as many batteries as it took to beat the game.

I don’t know what kind of cheap ass batteries he was using, but I beat that game three times on the old greybrick Game Boy and only had to replace my batteries once or twice.

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ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove – A List of Returning Features

ToeJam & Earl: Back in the GrooveToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove has been officially announced, and along with the announcement came a Kickstarter campaign and a press packet. I’ve combed through these things extensively, and I’ve compiled a list of features from the original ToeJam & Earl that will be making a return in Back in the Groove.

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Rampage Is a Dinosaur Game, End of Story

rampageRecently, my co-worker Tyler wrote an article claiming that the NES classic Rampage is not actually a dinosaur game. He bases this idea on the fact that the dinosaur character, Lizzie, started out as a human that swam in a toxic lake, so therefore she’s not a real dinosaur.

My co-worker is an idiot. Rampage is clearly a dinosaur game.

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E.V.O.: Search for Eden Did Dinos Before They Were Cool

EVO2Strictly speaking, E.V.O. Search For Eden isn’t a dinosaur game — the game allows you to play as all kinds of creatures. Still, there are few titles that utilized dinosaurs as well as this under-appreciated SNES gem.

Some games let you control a character or two; E.V.O. puts you in control of life itself. A mystical manifestation of the Earth named Gaia (like in Captain Planet, but with less Whoopi Goldberg)  guides you through a plot that covers more than a billion years. During that time, you slowly influence the development of all biological life.

But some dark force is trying to screw with Earth’s evolutionary development (and it’s probably not creationists, because they haven’t evolved yet). You must stop this evil influence, save the Earth, evolve into a complex life form, and eventually join Gaia in Eden.

No pressure.

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Rampage Isn’t a Dinosaur Game: The Monsters in Rampage Were Apparently People

Rampage MonstersRecently, I was trying to make a mental list of dinosaur-themed video games, and a friend suggested Rampage as a nice fit on such a list. I was inclined to agree until another friend challenged its dino-game status.

Wait, what? How could Rampage not be considered a dinosaur game when one of the main protagonists is a dinosaur?! I asserted in no uncertain terms that Rampage was a definite dino-game, but when pressed my only “evidence” turned out to be a tenuous connection to another dinosaur-ape duo of Hollywood fame (inspiration, perhaps?) and the fact that, well, it looked like a damn dinosaur to me. I knew I needed more, and so to the Google I ventured.

rampageHey! Did you know that Rampage had a plot and even a backstory? I didn’t, and I played that game a lot as a kid. When I think about it, though, I probably didn’t notice the plot in much of anything those days. So yes, Rampage had a plot, and it tuns out part of that plot was to rob me of a dino-game.

“Lizzie” (along with the other monsters from the game) was a human being at one point! The lumbering dinosaur of my childhood was in fact a mutated young woman who had happened to swim in a toxic lake. At least, that was the original story. Subsequent games would tinker with the origin stories a bit, but the fact there were origin stories at all for this game still boggles my mind a bit.

It’s very likely that none of this is news to those of you who have actually read this far, but that I was ignorant of such an integral part of the game’s premise got me thinking about how much else I missed in those formative days. The lesson? The point? If there is one, it’s that we really need a lot more games with dinosaurs in them. And not just people who have become dinosaurs through some unfortunate incident, but actual dinosaurs.

The 3DS Lets Me Play Link’s Awakening Without Wasting Piles of AA Batteries

Link's AwakeningI’ve always had a very special place in my heart reserved exclusively for my admiration for The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. I spent an enormous chunk of time back in 1998 (or was it 1999?) playing it on a Game Boy Color I borrowed off some kid whose mother dated my dad for a bit.

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The New Tomb Raider Game Had Better Have Dinosaurs in It

Tomb Raider DinosaurI’m going to be perfectly honest here: I did not enjoy the Tomb Raider reboot.

This is not because it was too linear in its attempt at an open world, nor was it because of the annoying quick time events that ultimately led to me rage quitting. No, my faithful friends and readers, I was displeased by Tomb Raider because of its lack of dinosaurs. That’s right, the game ultimately failed to deliver my requisite level of dino goodness.

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Several Versions of a ToeJam & Earl Sequel Were Pitched

Toejam and Earl ShipWe just recently found out that Greg Johnson, one of the creators of ToeJam & Earl, has been getting ready to unveil a brand new, currently-in-development sequel to the original Genesis ToeJam & Earl game.

This seems like stupendously big news, right?

Apparently, there are a lot of publishers who don’t think so.

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Resident Evil Remastered Makes Up For Lost Time

Resident Evil, Glass on TableI recently played the new HD remaster of Resident Evil and had a pretty swell time. It reminded me of the way I felt playing the original for the first time, and it managed to capture a good deal of the old magic.

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Retro Rewind: Remember When Gamers Went to Arcades?

Source: bobosfun.com

Source: bobosfun.com

If you were a gamer in the late 70’s, you didn’t spend a lot of time browsing the shelves at your favorite electronics retailers. You went to the arcade. These were the places to play games with your friends. In those days home consoles simply tried to emulate what arcade games were doing, because they were so popular, not to mention lucrative.

In case you’re too young to remember, arcades were also a catch-all for birthday parties in the ’80s and ’90s. Parents would load up their minivan with kids, buy a bunch of tokens, and order a handful of disgusting pizzas. It was an easy, albeit expensive, way to host a birthday party. And kids loved it.

And the machines weren’t simply screens with joysticks attached. They often simulated cars, motorcycles, and fighter-jet cockpits. The experience was unique and immersive.

Source: atariage.com

Source: atariage.com

Sadly, arcades are almost extinct. As console technology began to rival arcade machines, and internet gaming became commonplace, gamers migrated into back to their living rooms. A few arcades have managed to avoid extinction, but being a gamer means something different these days.

Who knows? Maybe the future will bring an arcade resurgence. But I wouldn’t start saving my quarters.