Pokey Minch Was Eric Cartman Before South Park Existed

pokey minchEarthBound‘s Pokey Minch is a conniving, calculating coward. His taunts are incredibly childish, and his actions are unbelievably evil. He thinks nothing of sacrificing others, even if it doesn’t benefit him in any substantial way. [Read more...]

The Tenchu Series Needs to Unvanish

tenchu featuredTenchu.

That single word can conjure up feelings of both nostalgic delight and a cringe-inducing bad taste. [Read more...]

Products of a Generation of Creation: Words of Inspiration from a Veteran Gamer

Edward TaylorMy name is Edward Taylor. I am a 27-year-old millennial, a college graduate, successful in my chosen field, and politically active.

I am also a gamer.

[Read more...]

Why Sheik’s Gender Matters

SheikNintendo has finally revealed what Sheik’s actual gender is. Bill Trinen of Nintendo said she is, 100%, without a doubt, female — just Zelda in ninja clothing.

Many fans had a theory that Zelda used magic to actually turn herself into a man in Ocarina of Time. The fact that every transformation was concealed by some sparkly magic, her eye color doesn’t match up, princess Ruto referred to Sheik as male, their body types were totally different, and more random obscure Zelda facts only put fuel on the fire.

[Read more...]

Capcom’s Resident Evil HD Remake Is Going to Require Some Serious Compromises

Resident Evil HDI’ve been a fan of survival games for as long as I can remember, and that’s a seed that was planted by the original Resident Evil for the PSOne. I have nothing but fond memories of that game.

However, I replayed it fairly recently, and it hasn’t aged well.

[Read more...]

One Dollar at a Time: Happy 25th Anniversary, Game Boy


One dollar per week: that was the slave wage that my parents tried to pass off as an allowance in 1990. After receiving my first stipend, my mother drove me to a local toy store where we all learned that a dollar isn’t enough to buy anything.

I bought a tiny airplane. My mom chipped in.

After blowing my very first bankroll on a stupid airplane, I saved almost every dime that I managed to get my hands on for nearly a year, and I was still $30 shy of the $89.99 that I needed to get my hands on a Game Boy.

But my birthday was right around the corner, so I told everyone that I wouldn’t be accepting gifts this year. It was cash or nothing.

My aunt bought me a fucking yo-yo. Bitch.

When the dust settled, I was still $5 short, but went home with a Game Boy anyway. My dad chipped in.

Gameboy AdI’ve owned that little grey brick for 24 years, and it still works perfectly. Every time I move, it moves with me, and if my house ever catches fire, I’ll probably try to grab it on the way out. I wasn’t even mad when Nintendo dropped the price to $50 a few months after I got it.

Happy 25th Anniversary, Game Boy. You’re still my favorite handheld.

Centipup: I Am Currently Ranked 2nd in Denny’s Atari Remix

CentipupDenny’s has an iOS and Android app called Denny’s Atrai Remix that lets you play Denny-ified versions of old school Atari games while you’re eating a hangover breakfast of shame.

Centipup is a cross between Centipede and Denny’s popular Pancake Puppies, and over 16,000 people have posted to the leaderboards so far. Of these 16,000-plus, I am ranked 2nd.

[Read more...]

Denny’s Reaches out to the Hungover Atari Demographic

HashteroidsDenny’s has absolutely everything I look for in a hangover cafe.

They’re open 24 hours a day, they serve breakfast all day long, they have coffee, and they attract the sort of crowd that’s not going to judge a guy for being an alcoholic. Plus, there’s a Denny’s within walking distance of my house, so no one has to drunk drive to get there.

[Read more...]

In Capcom’s Haunting Ground for PS2, You Must Learn to Hide or Die

Haunting GroundImage source: Clock Tower Wikia

Capcom is known for their dabbles into survival horror games; Resident Evil coined the term “survival horror,” after all. But what you might not know is that they released a little hidden gem of a spin-off from the Clock Tower series – Haunting Ground ( also known as Demento in Japan).

[Read more...]

NES Cartridge Prices Are on the Rise, But That’s Not a Bad Thing

Donkey Kong NESRetro gaming enthusiast site Rawrcade.com recently posted an article claiming we’re in a retro games bubble. The article showed some evidence (supplied by the Price Charting site) that NES cartridge prices are on the rise.

[Read more...]