Cutscenery: Dino Crisis 2

Dino Crisis 2One year has passed since the “Third Energy Incident” and government research has begun at a base… somewhere and blah blah blah…

Look, I don’t mean to belittle Dino Crisis 2, and my apologies go out to Dr. Kirk, but this opening dialogue is just an excuse to usher in a bunch of dinosaur action. Which is probably okay, because the only questions I have when I pop in the Dino Crisis 2 disc are: Where are the dinosaurs and how long until I start killing a bunch of them?

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Saints Row IV Has the Best Use of Dinosaurs I’ve Ever Seen

Saint's Row DinosaurThere are many games that include dinosaurs. There are the Dino Hunter and Turok series, in which you fight dinosaurs. There’s the old We’re Back game on the SNES, in which you play as a dinosaur. There are several Jurassic Park games, some of which let you fight dinosaurs and some of which let you play as a dinosaur. But the absolute best use of dinosaurs I’ve seen happens in Saints Row IV.

I mean, just watch this video from the Enter The Dominatrix DLC:

It’s so completely batshit insane that the characters even say it’s completely batshit insane when it’s happening. I won’t spoil all the details for you, because you should really watch this (or, better yet, play it) for yourself.

But it turns out the dinosaurs are intelligent raptors from another planet. And they sing you the song of their people.

It’s total batshit, and it’s great. If anyone tells you that they have found a better use of dinosaurs in a video game, they are wrong.

Thus saith Alcoholic Luigi.

Alcoholic Luigi vs. AniMinneapolis 2014

The New Tomb Raider Game Had Better Have Dinosaurs in It

Tomb Raider DinosaurI’m going to be perfectly honest here: I did not enjoy the Tomb Raider reboot.

This is not because it was too linear in its attempt at an open world, nor was it because of the annoying quick time events that ultimately led to me rage quitting. No, my faithful friends and readers, I was displeased by Tomb Raider because of its lack of dinosaurs. That’s right, the game ultimately failed to deliver my requisite level of dino goodness.

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In the Hitman Movie Trailer, Agent 47 Is Back in Black

Rupert FriendAs GeekParty’s resident Hitman fanatic, I’ve been keeping a close eye on the development of the upcoming film Hitman: Agent 47. I’m happy to say that the latest trailer has everything a Hitman could possible need. [Read more…]

Trailer Sailor: LEGO Dinosaurs, Evolve, and Tropico


Yarrg and hello again to the Trailer Sailor, ye deck swabs! This week we be takin’ a wee look at the newest trailers for Tropico 5, Final Fantasy Type-0 HD, Evolve, and others. Rudders to the waves, let’s get some water goin’ ‘neath us!

Final Fantasy Type-0 (PS4, Xbox One)

I played Final Fantasy Type-0 on the PSP a few months back and was very impressed. It seems the folks at Square Enix had a pretty good grasp on what fans actually want this time (as opposed to the endless shallow hallways of Final Fantasy XIII). The trailer for the HD port shows off several of the things I appreciate about this title, like character design and the raw emotion conveyed in the cutscenes.

This is going to be a system-seller for many an RPG fan, I’m sure.

Tropico 5 (PS4)

I’ve never delved into the Tropico games, personally. My strategy loyalties lie more with Civilization and Final Fantasy Tactics clones.

Tropico 5 looks like something I’d really dig though. The look of the land reminds me of Panau from Just Cause 2 — very tropical and green. The interface for the PS4 looks nice as well, and it’s good to see strategy games that would typically be PC-only coming to home consoles.

LEGO Jurassic World (Multi)

I can’t properly convey in words how excited I am for the Jurassic World movie. If only I could be playing with LEGOs while watching it, I would be in nerd Nirvana. Well, it looks like I’m covered on that front already, with  Jurassic World getting a LEGO game based on it .

Super Stardust Ultra (PS4)

Being an old school arcade gaming fan, I was happy to see a sequel to 2007’s Super Stardust HD, which combines elements from classic shooters like Robotron. The first HD Stardust game hit the arcade shooter sweet spot, and this one raises the bar with more game modes and a slicker presentation.

Evolve (Xbox One, PS4, Windows)

While this particular trailer doesn’t show much more than a bunch of kids running around, I appreciate the style and subdued atmosphere. It really flips in the last few seconds, showing off the frenetic gameplay we’re looking forward to when Evolve launches in a few short days.

Well well, ye grog-swiggin’ lads and bonnies, that’s all there is for this week’s sea jaunt. Don’t be leavin’ me bow all a’clutter now, pick up yer messes.

Drive Any Track Is Going to Let Me Live out My Super Trooper Fantasies

"Let it roll."

“Let it roll.”

As silly as it is, I love the movie Super Troopers. It has so many non-sequitur moments, and one of my favorites is when rookie trooper Rabbit steals the confiscated Porsche. He sports a silly wig, cranks up the German techno song “Bidibodi Bidibu” by Bubbles, and goes for a midnight joyride through town. Every facet of this scene builds silliness upon silliness, and I just love it.

So when I saw the trailer for music driving game Drive Any Track, I just knew I was going to have to recreate this sensation on my own.

The game features the ability to race to your own tunes — and the music will significantly alter gameplay, which is one thing I felt Audiosurf lacked.

Combine that mechanic with intense speed and…

Well, let’s just say I need to go wig shopping.

Cutscenery: DC Universe Online

DC-UniverseOnlinePre-rendered cutscenes have a weird reputation. On one hand, they can be a bit deceiving, especially when the in-game graphics are lacking in detail. On the other hand, they’re so shiny and pretty!

A few weeks back, I talked about The Witcher 2 a game that’s guilty of the pre-rendered cutscene bait and switch. That opening was so badass that I didn’t give a shit when the in-game graphics couldn’t compare to it. The same could be said for DC Universe Online. I couldn’t care less about the actual game; that opening cutscene is incredible.

The sheer magnitude of super-powered ass kicking more than makes up for the mediocre in-game graphics. There’s so much goodness to take in that this cutscene demands multiple viewings. I’d go so far as to say that it’s a “cut above” most DC movies, both live action and animated.

Cut above. Get it?

A dead Green Arrow, a powerful, capable Wonder Woman, a rascally Joker, a sweet-looking, cool-as-a-cucumber Batman; this is a great cutscene. The action-packed scene showcases every combatant’s power, which goes a long way to ground it in this universe. The cast of characters runs the gamut between well-known and lesser-known DC characters, and everyone looks particularly badass.

Check it out. And then watch it again. And again. And again.

Josh Plays Far Cry 4 – Pagan Min’s Fortress (Rajgad Gulag) Undetected

Far Cry 4 Pagan MinThis is it, kiddos. I’ve arrived at the final fortress in Far Cry 4, Rajgad Gulag, the fortress of Pagan Min himself.

It’s an especially difficult fortress to conquer, since it’s packed with tough enemies like snipers and heavy machine gunners, and there are few places to hide where you’re not in an enemy’s line of sight. If they end up detecting you, the guards like to call in heavy chopper support, and, to top it off, the whole fortress is surrounded by mines.

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How to Farm Carrots and Potatoes in Minecraft

Minecraft Carrot Farming in Minecraft is one of the best ways to keep your hunger bar full, since it’s a more reliable, renewable source of sustenance than meat. Sure, you can breed animals, but that can lead to some headaches if you don’t have a good strategy locked down.

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Josh Plays Far Cry 4 – Stealth Hostage Rescue

E3 2014 - Far Cry 4In Far Cry 4, there are numerous side missions in which you’re tasked with rescuing a group of four hostages. Being detected caused the guards to panic and kill the hostages, so your goal is to do this as stealthily as possible to avoid civilian casualties.

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