If Anyone Asks, This MetaCon Party Never Actually Happened

While exploring MetaCon, I heard whispers on the wind of a super secret party that was supposedly taking place up on the fifth floor. In fact, it was so secret that it was dubbed “The Party That Never Was,” and it was not allowed to affiliate itself with MetaCon in any way. Apparently it existed in this grey area of “We’re not technically supposed to be doing this, but we’re doing it anyway. Out of spite.”

Since the word “Party” is in our title, obviously GeekParty needed to attend this barely legal bash of epic proportions. I grabbed a couple cameras, rounded up Alcoholic Luigi, and crashed the thing.

Before being allowed to set foot in the room, we were carded by a guy who took his job incredibly seriously for a drunk dude. No underage attendees under any circumstances. At least these guys party responsibly.

As soon as we walked in, we were very loudly, forcefully, and drunkenly told, “No cameras!” I took this as a sign that something awesome was about to happen and immediately started filming. Oddly enough, no one seemed to mind.

We talked to the bartender (yes, there was an actual bartender serving drinks right in the room), and he told us his sad tale of how the party was originally supposed to be an official MetaCon thing, but wasn’t allowed to due to some unforeseen circumstances. I don’t remember what those were, but we got that whole conversation on camera. Unfortunately, I was a bit too drunk to operate the equipment effectively, and all the footage was lost. I would apologize for my clumsiness, but fuck you.

Luigi and I handed out GeekParty stickers and regaled the partygoers with our stories of geek culture journalism while we were treated to pink floofy drinks and Jello shots. Oh yeah, and there was a dance room too, but we didn’t go in there. At least, I don’t think we did.

Whatever happened after that is kind of a blur, but we took some pictures. Check those out.


  • The Bartender

    Hey there, this is the guy who was serving you booze. Awesome to finally see the pictures you took. Too bad about the video footage though; I kind of wanted to see how my lame banter about the tube Alcoholic Luigi came through turned out. The party was put on by the PPB (Pony Party Brigade) check out our facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/PonyPartyBrigade) for upcoming party info and other random silliness. Hope to see you guys at some future party. Oh, and in case Alcoholic Luigi wanted to know, here’s what goes in that drink he named:
    Luigi’s Lament:
    Fill a glass with ice
    1 shot Cruzan Black Cherry Rum
    dash of Green Apple syrup (you can find it at Bed, Bath, & Beyond)
    1 shot of Ice Hole: Exotic (you can substitute Kinky if you want; they’re the same thing)
    1 shot Triple Sec
    Have fun! :)

  • lydia

    the party wasnt legit because I got hit by a car ^_^

    • Josh Wirtanen

      Man, that sucks. Are you okay?

      • Lydia

        Phhhhht, I am ALWAYS okay!
        cept the broken rib and the drain bamage.

  • The Arc Designs

    Twas a great party, looking forward to helping out in the future again.

  • Alcoholic Luigi


    Which is, of course, all the time.

    • The Bartender

      Happy to help ūüėÄ

  • Edgar Allan Poe

    Why was this post not written by Alcoholic Luigi, you sons of bitches?

  • Gear

    Based on the picture, I assumed this would be a new Alcoholic Luigi article. This article is still pretty good, but I am still mildly disappointed.

    • Alcoholic Luigi

      I’m at least reasonably certain the articles/video involving me about MetaCon will be up shortly!

  • Vincent “The Goat Man”

    Hmm, apparently I’ve made my way onto the internet. Anyway, it was a bitchin party to say the least and I look forward to all others hosted by the pony party brigade.