Before we begin, I want to reassure you of one thing: I am a grown man.
And I’m certainly not one of those creepy, Disney-obsessed adults who’s always unconsciously finger banging his Mickey Mouse tie during normal office conversations. I don’t own a single piece of clothing featuring a bedazzled Donald Duck. In fact, I can’t imagine a situation where I would trade money for a piece of Disney-branded memorabilia.
Except for Disney Infinity, that is. I want to spend all of my money on that game, and I can’t really explain it. I don’t even own a copy yet, but it’s the only title on the market that I’m currently interested in buying, and I can think of a dozen other games that would be a better fit for my interests.
In fact, I’m looking at my gaming library right now, and there are only a few titles that don’t specifically revolve around bloodshed, and most of those were published by Nintendo. I’m a pretty stereotypical gamer, but Infinity has somehow managed to trick me into loving it, even though I’ve barely touched it.
If I were forced to attach a psychological diagnosis to the problem, the Freudian in me would probably say that my unconscious mind is reaching back toward my childhood obsessions. Part of me — the part that used to collect Batman and Ninja Turtle figurines — can’t help but be drawn to a collection of toys that is directly related to one of my primary interests: gaming.
After all, everyone loves Pixar movies, right? And the ability to repeatedly experience all of your favorite Pixar characters in a novel way is made better only by the opportunity to collect a physical souvenir of your digital adventures, right?
The more I over-analyze my infatuation, the more it becomes clear that I’m simply attempting to create some kind of ridiculous justification for what will ultimately be a gigantic waste of money. And time. But if I can just convince myself that the Walt Disney Corporation has a mind control gun pointed directly at my medulla oblongata, then I’m not longer to blame for my own obsessions and I can indulge them without any guilt.
And I think it’s probably time to stop fighting and just give in to this particular obsession. After all, it’s going to happen with or without my acceptance. No one can fight Disney’s mind control gun forever.