Possible Fallout From Nintendo’s Pokémon Announcement Tomorrow

At 6 AM EST, there will be a Nintendo Direct video from Mr. Iwata himself. He will be making a Pokémon-related news announcement.

Now, it’s important that we act like civilized people here and try to keep our expectations in check. It’ll probably be just an upcoming title in a similar vein to Mystery Dungeon, or maybe the next generation in the series, or a Pokémon MMO.

Please be a Pokémon MMO. We’ve only been (im)patiently waiting for this for years. We crave not to roam the lands of Azeroth, but to journey through Kanto, Johto, and all the regions with friends and strangers. We want to rage at people for stealing our lucky patches of grass. Challenge them to duels. It’s not the same playing pet battles in World of Warcraft. Sure, it’s a nice replacement, but we want the real deal. Gyms, Pokémon League, Legendaries where we camp for hours until they respawn.

Possible Fallout From Nintendo's Pokemon Announcement Tomorrow

I can see it now. A glorious world where people run out to buy Wii Us in droves. Or, if they release it on the 3DS, then we’d train to avoid neck strain from keeping our faces held down as we look at the screen. Pokémon would bring down civilization via video games, not Grand Theft Auto. We’d neglect work, sleep, food, our spouses, all for training little pocket monsters. It won’t be violence and sex that taints gamers forever, but digital crack in the form of a handheld RPG from Nintendo. The haters always claim that it could never fully work, but we’d find a way. This dream is too important to us.

But sadly, it’s 2013. Nintendo is only starting to understand the concept of online gaming. So maybe I need to hold back my excitement. Perhaps I can go to sleep tonight knowing that our futures aren’t at risk because we won’t be hopelessly addicted to playing Pokémon in a persistent online world. Because let’s face it, we’re still not ready for that yet. Reddit is already addicting enough, but a Pokémon MMO would take it to a whole new level. And we don’t live in a world where we can automatically convert our body’s waste into reusable energy just yet.  Therefore, we also don’t live in a world ready for such a game.

I will, however, settle for a massive Wii U Pokémon title that combines all the regions into one game. Plus, there’s still the fan-based project, PokeMMO. So I guess we can just check that out.

Possible Fallout From Nintendo's Pokemon Announcement Tomorrow