The New Fire Emblem Is Making Me Look at Feet

fire emblem feetWhile I’ve been known to admire a sweet pair of socks, I don’t enjoy the sight of feet. Even the nicest feet look pretty weird, and few things are as gross as hairy, sweaty toes poking out of a pair of sandals. If I was stricken with a curse that made all feet invisible, I would not feel sad.

Feet were invisible in Fire Emblem: Awakening, and I was completely okay with that. Many were baffled and bewildered by the missing extremities, but I just thought “Yes. This is the way the world should be.”

Then the new Fire Emblem came along and ruined everything.

I want to get excited about the metal giant and kick-ass camera angles. I want to speculate about the game’s new classes, characters and storylines. But when I try to watch the Fire Emblem trailer, I get distracted by the endless foot barrage.

While most of the characters are kind enough to wear shoes, the female lead is completely barefoot. It’s like Nintendo is actively trying to destroy the goodwill they built up in the podophobia community. Won’t anyone think of the people who hate feet?

Don’t get me wrong; I still plan on playing new Fire Emblem. I’ve loved every game in the series, and a few tootsies won’t ruin this one. Still, if Nintendo decided to release some kind of invisible feet DLC, I would totally be willing to pay for it.