Did you know there’s some creepy-ass music in Animal Crossing: City Folk?
I honestly had no idea.
I stumbled upon the secret accidentally. See, every once in a while I like to head over to my parents’ house to visit what was once my Wii or take it home for a weekend visit. (I’m such a horrible console owner.) It’s there now because my mother is an affirmed Animal Crossing Addict and has played City Folk for about a half hour per day since it was released.
Since I had brought the red-headed stepchild of my videogame collection home for a weekend of Rhythm Heaven Fever and some Xenoblade side-quest completion, I decided to stop by the old Animal Crossing town. You know, see if things really were still rocking in Midgar.
It’s then that I heard this:
What the hell, man? This is Animal Crossing, not Silent Hill. Last time I checked, Pyramid Head was not one of my neighbors. (Though some of those monkeys and chickens look quite suspicious.)
Hearing a suspiciously serene, yet also somewhat sinister melody like that gives me the jitters and with good reason. You alwayshear something slightly otherworldly right before something with three-inch-long fangs and oozing pustules tries to make out with you.
I did a little more investigating around town, and found that night time is definitely not the right time for exploring my little backwater village. Surprisingly, the City Hall building is the most terrifying spot of all. Just listen to the music that greets you when you enter that place:
No. Just no. I’d rather listen to Atelier Meruru‘s recorder-laiden soundtrack on a continuous loop for a few hours then spend more than a few minutes alone in City Hall with Tortimer and Phyllis while that plays in the background. I always knew Tortimer was up to no good.
In fact, I can prove Tortimer can’t be trusted, and that his conspiring runs much deeper than he lets on.
Let’s start by bringing up Pavé. Poor, deluded Pavé. He obviously has some kind of serious drug addiction. I have a sneaking suspicion that the candy being given away during Festivale isn’t “candy.” They’re obviously some kind of mood-elevating pills. In fact, I suspect that Pavé has a mental condition and is self-medicating with these “candies.” When he’s tired, he needs a “refreshing” blue candy. If he’s hyper, he needs a “relaxing” green candy to even him out.
Which brings us to Zipper T. Bunny. Now, Nintendo never outright says it, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Pavé and Zipper are one and the same. Their speech patterns are similar. Both can’t stop moving and dancing, but also have abrupt mood swings if the player pesters them. The only difference is, Zipper T. Bunny seems like he’s been forced into his role as Bunny Day spokesman by Mayor Tortimer. Obviously, Tortimer knows of Pavé’s problems and is exploiting them to force him into indentured servitude.
Not to mention Zipper T. Bunny bears more than a passing resemblance to Robbie the Rabbit.
The fact that Tortimer also has a habit of donning a disturbing acorn mask to appear as his other-personality Cornimer and has talked about a wife that mysteriously disappeared is also quite suspect. What happened to Mrs. Tortimer? Was there an unfortunate pitfall accident, which then allowed Tortimer to collect a large insurance settlement and buy his position as mayor? Are the acorns “Cornimer” collects a key ingredient in the “candy” Tortimer uses to keep Pavé in his thrall?
Perhaps there’s more to the idyllic towns we’ve come to love. After all, Silent Hill started out as a small sleepy village. It could be that our beloved Animal Crossing respites are all just one ritual away from opening up a gateway to a dark otherworld. I’d recommend keeping a close eye on Tortimer, Phyllis, Tom Nook, and even Rover. They’re up to no good.