Why You Shouldn’t Play The Stanley Parable While Drunk, or Alcoholic Luigi Goes Crazy

The Stanley ParableAlcoholic Luigi sat at his computer, contemplating his next course of action. He knew he had to write a GeekParty article, because the site thrived on content. Yet he’d also been having trouble sleeping, which made it difficult on him to decide what to write.

Finally, he decided to let his son choose what game he’d write about. He called his son over, and his son pointed to an icon on his computer desktop. His son’s choice made him hesitate, but he finally decided that if nothing was ventured, nothing was gained.

So he told his son to bring him the bottle of vodka, and began to play The Stanley Parable

Unfortnately, The Stanley Parable was a difficult game to talk about. Alcoholic Luigi took the bottle of vodka, took a long drink, and began to contemplate how he would go about it. He couldn’t give too much information away. After all, if there was ever game that could be easily spoiled, it was this one. He also knew that he was in no state to be subtle, what with being sleep-deprived and also having now had a quarter of a bottle of vodka.

BagStill, he soldiered on. He was, after all, GeekParty’s official mascot. He was responsible for one third of one half of the site’s content. He was, to put it bluntly, the best fucking writer ever.

He knocked back a little more vodka, and decided to play the game for a while to help him get ideas. Surely nothing would go wrong if he played a game like The Stanley Parable while drunk and sleep deprived.

Fifteen minutes later, he screamed in abject horror, smashed through the nearest wall like the Kool-Aid Man, and then blacked out.